God's Forever Love

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.   Psalm 19:1

As I gaze upon the pink and indigo sky
of the setting sun
reminding of God's forever Love
day after day
night after night
my heart is aglow
with the knowledge of God
and my soul fills with peace.

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

Highs and Lows

Mood swings are not just words describing a mood disorder.  I live out these words as very real highs and lows in my life.  My moods have been all over the place in the past month but now I'm stuck.  I'm stuck in a melancholy I can't seem to shake.  All I can say is, "Sweet Lord Jesus, please help me."  I trust in Him and know if I just hang in there He will help me.  The hanging on is the hard part.

The Sun Will Rise with Healing In Its Wings

The Word of God brings life and health to the very depths of the human spirit, soul, and body.  There are no words that I can say, other than God's word, that will bring healing.  Today I give you God's Word. 

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his  wounds we have been healed.  1 Peter 2:24


Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his
holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits---
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and
compassion
who satisfies your desires with
good things
so that your youth is renewed
like the eagle's.
Psalm 103:1-5 NIV

But for you who revere my name the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings.  And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.  Malachi 4:2 NIV


Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.  But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.  Isaiah 53:4-5 NIV

By His wounds we ARE HEALED.  To God be the Glory!  Amen.

A Life Based on Trust

Today's devotional from Grace for Each Moment reflects on trusting God in the darkness, that our faith is not based on the way we feel.  Our faith is based on Jesus Christ.  Read the following:

I have learnt to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.           Philippians 4:11-12


   As a follower of Christ you have powers at your disposal that enable you to tackle life positively and constructively.  Remember that dynamic discipleship is based on faith that finds expression in deeds, not in feelings.  Focus on the fact that God loves you, even though you might be experiencing the darkest time of your life.
   Acknowledge the fact that He will never leave you, even though you may not be able to feel His presence right now.  If your life is based on your faith in 'Christ, your confidence will increase and you will overcome every feeling o inferiority.  There will be no situation that you will not be able to handle through Christ's wisdom and power.


I thank You, Lord Jesus, that I can start every day with confidence because I find my strength in You.  Amen.

The text tells us to focus---focus on God's love as the deed, or the action, to take versus the feeling of despair. We often think of doing good deeds for others.  Perhaps today the good deed we do should be to simply focus on how much God loves us.  Focus---tell yourself---God loves me.  Christ died for me.  Find a Bible verse that resonates God's love for you and pray it over and over.  Perhaps John 3:16 prayed this way:

For God loved me so much that He gave His only begotten Son, that if I believe in Him, I shall not perish but have everlasting life.

I have gained so much insight from Grace for Each Moment.  I included a link in this post in case any of you would like to order it.   Grace for Each Moment has been a daily blessing and inspiration for me.

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

Setting Boundaries for Depression

He gave the sea its boundary so the waters would not overstep his command.  Proverbs 8:29 NIV

No one thinks, "I think I'll be depressed today."  People don't choose depression.  If you have chronic depression it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, part of your biological makeup.  You don't choose to be depressed; you just are---depressed. However, the person who experiences depression does have choices.  Namely, how you deal with being depressed is a choice you get to make.

In my last post I wrote about being on vacation---sitting by the sea and viewing the boundaries God established for the oceans.  However, I was so enthralled by the whole scenario I failed to write about the boundaries.  In dealing with depression we can also, through God's help, set boundaries.   For example, at one point my therapist asked me how low I was willing to go.  He shared with me that he had been depressed to the point that he decided to let himself go to the point where he cried endlessly for weeks.

I had already been there and did not want to go back.  I had no intention of getting to the place where I stayed in bed and cried for days at a time.  I refused to go that low.  I wasn't thinking about it at the time but what I had decided to do was set a boundary.  Depression in my life that day would not be allowed to go there.  Just as God set boundary lines for the seas I had set a boundary line for depression.

We can do that.  We can choose to set boundaries for this chronic illness and refuse to let it take our lives.  One way to set boundaries is to take meds as prescribed.  If you have diabetes you take your meds in order to live a healthy life.  So, if you have depression you take your meds.  It's that simple. 

Last year I was so depressed while on vacation I rarely left the room.  This year I set boundaries and chose to do the things that make me healthy.  My sweet husband and I had the best vacation we have had in years.  It's not easy to be proactive and set boundaries.  It takes work and choosing to eat right, live right, and take meds if that's part of your regimen for health.  But if God has set boundaries for a body as immense as the ocean, He can set boundaries for depression.  Let Him guide you.  It can be done.  I'm living proof.  Praise God I'm still alive!  And you are too...

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

Vacation and the Boundaries of God

I was there when he set the clouds above, when he established the deep fountains of the earth.  I was there when he set the limits of the seas, so they would not spread beyond their boundaries. And when he marked off the earth's foundations,  I was the architect at his side. I was his constant delight, rejoicing always in his presence.  And how happy I was with what he created -- his wide world and all the human family!                                                                                                                      Proverbs 8:28-31 NLT  Enjoying a much needed vacation with my husband, we sat at the water's edge taking in the blue, cloudless sky with the sea lapping at our feet.  The ocean breeze was just enough to keep us cool.  We had rented an umbrella and chair from the vendor on the beach and had decided that "God was in His heaven and all was right with the world." It was Sunday, the day of rest and worship.What better way to worship Him than to spend a day on the beach reflecting on all that He had created!  I worshipped as I watched children of all ages run and play their sweet hands shaping castles in the sand.  Couples strolled on the beach holding hands simply enjoying the day, the view, and each other.

Fathers and sons attempted to surf in the crashing waves and were, for the most part, impressively successful.  The ice cream truck drove up and down the beach selling delicacies to the tune of "Three Blind Mice."  We watched sea gulls dive bomb into the ocean fishing for their next meal and perhaps just to show off a little bit.  Michael C. and I even had our own picnic lunch on the beach consisting of sandwiches and humus.  Man, was it good!  On this vacation Sunday my darling husband and I truly worshipped our Creator.  We delighted in all that He has made.  Even as I contemplated the vastness of the relentless sea I was reminded that it is people that God loves most of all.  It is people that God sent His son, Jesus, to rescue.    The earth drowns in the ravages of sin but Jesus came to die on a cross to rescue us from sin.  Jesus rose from the dead conquering sin so that by believing in Him we too conquer sin and can live forever with Him.  As amazing and awesome as the ocean is  it doesn't even compare to what Jesus did and is doing for His greatest creation---people.   This Sunday I worshipped my Lord with my husband while God reminded me that He loves His all His wonderful creation, especially you...and me.   To God be the Glory!  Amen.

God's Wonderful Gift of Peace

Sometimes I read words that others have written that express what I want to say much better than I can.  Today is such a day.  I want to share with you from Grace for Each Moment the words of Solly Ozrovech regarding God's gift of peace. 

Jesus promises peace to His followers. Often God's blessings and peace are all that we desire here on earth to help us in our everyday lives.  The Lord does not want us to worry or lose hope because of things that are happening around us.  That is why He promises to "bless His people with peace" (see Ps. 29:11).  The Lord does not force His gifts upon us, but He is always ready to grant them when we are ready to receive them.  If we ask for peace in prayer, then the Lord will bless us with His peace in our innermost being so that we may experience His peace here on earth.

Sometime in our daily struggles we forget the most important part, that is to ask.  Ask God for peace.  And His peace that transcends all understanding will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4). 

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

Depression and Spiritual Warfare

"Do not be afraid, Daniel.  Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them."
                                                                                                           Daniel 10:12

For Christians who are seeking the Lord depression sometimes comes as the result of spiritual warfare.  In the Old Testament book of Daniel we are told in chapter 10 that Daniel sought understanding from the Lord and that he mourned for three weeks.  Daniel's mourning is not described in detail but he at not "choice foods"  and had no meat or wine.  To me, this sounds a lot like symptoms of depression.

Later in the same chapter Daniel is visited by an angel who tells him he has come in response to his prayer but was delayed because he (the angel) was fighting the spiritual prince of Persia.  Then Michael, the chief angel, came to help so that the angel could come to answer Daniel's prayer.

When we are seeking the Lord and fall into depression we must remember that faith is not a feeling.  Faith is a gift from God that strengthens us in our inner spirit.  We may not feel the Lord's presence but, nevertheless, He is with us.  Feelings are deceptive.  It is Satan's goal to steal and kill and destroy our faith.  But Jesus came that we may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10).

The Holy Spirit is always at work within us to give us abundant life.  Depression may last for weeks but hang on.  Help is on the way.  Remember Daniel's story and know that even the great prophets of the Bible experienced depression.

Our Lord loves us and is greater than anything we feel.  He will never leave nor forsake us.  Hallelujah!  God is good and loves us when we're depressed and when we're not depressed.  Faith tells us He WILL answer our prayers.  Never, never, never give up!

And as always...To God be the Glory!  Amen.

Confidence in God

I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the 

LORD

in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:13-14

No matter where the road may 

lead me

no matter how the path may

wind

Regardless of the up and downs

and hills that I must

climb

Of this one thing I can be sure

God will never let me 

down

He guides and always 

lights my way

His goodness does

surround.

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, 

and He delivers them.                            Psalm 34:7

Praying the Armor of God

In the past I have blogged about remembering in the dark (the darkness and agitation of bipolar disorder) what Jesus has taught me in the light.  Part of what I have learned in the light is to speak God's word daily and to clothe myself in His mighty armor.

We, Christians, are in a spiritual battle.  In the New Testament book of Ephesians, Paul, tells us that to fight this battle we must be clothed in the armor of God  (Ephesians 6:10-20).  Therefore, I pray the word, clothing myself in His mighty armor using His own word, the Sword of the Spirit, which is sharper than any two-edged sword, as my defense.

Sweet Lord, I pray, clothe me in your mighty armor:  the helmet of salvation, the belt of truth, the shoes of the gospel of peace, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, and the sword of the spirit.  That I might stand strong in the faith and do everything in love.

If I have blogged this before and you find me redundant please forgive me.  I feel so strongly about being prepared in God's word that I felt the need to write this again.  If you have not read this recently then, well, there you go.

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

Southern Heat

The heat ascends as if from the very ground
shrouding, winding, leaving tendrils
of wet warmth
to smother and engulf
threatening
molten lava seeking to inhabit
even the depths of my mind.

The Sixth Sense...The Sense of Humor

Sometimes things are funny just because they are funny.  Take falling for instance.  Now, I desperately try not to laugh when I see someone fall especially if they are hurt.  But just the sight is so hilarious with arms and legs going in all directions most of the time I can't help but snicker.

When I fall I usually end up laughing so hard I almost wet my pants.  Today, however, I did the "fallen and I can't get up" kind of thing.  Oh, I managed to get up---after the stars I saw faded and I rescued my flip flop to put back on my foot.  My wonderfully hard head broke my fall smacking first the sink, then the toilet, and finally the concrete floor in the tiny bathroom where I had fallen.

With my body sprawled in all directions I moaned and lay there trying to get my bearings.  I was lying on the floor in a tiny bathroom in a store in Sugar Valley.  Moaning, and moving, trying to determine if anything was broken, I was a bit taken aback when the store owner ( a tiny, little thing) stepped up to my line of vision and said, "I'm not gonna try to help you up."  "No,"  I responded, "just let me lay here for a minute and catch my breath."

A few minutes passed which seemed like hours and she came back.  "Do you want me to call the ambulance?" she asked.  Again I said, "No, honey I'll be fine," clearly lying through my rattled teeth.  I lay there for a moment more and thought, "What am I going to do?"

Then it came to me---a song I sing to my little grandson while I rock him to sleep called "Just a Little Talk With Jesus."  So I had a little talk with Jesus.  "Sweet Jesus," I prayed, "please help me get out of this floor!"  I have to say that's one of the quickest prayers I've had answered.  Within scarcely a minute I was off the floor finishing up my business and slowly getting the heck out of dodge.

Now when I think about it I just have to laugh.  Banged up a bit, bruised a bit, I still can only imagine the sight of me lying in that floor with that little lady saying, "I'm not gonna try to help you up."  She meant well and frankly I did not want to be moved at that time.

I say all that to say this.  Some things are just funny and most of the time falling is one of them.  Thank God for the sixth sense...a sense of humor!

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

The Butterfly

I feel like a butterfly who has emerged from its cocoon.  The darkness has abated and the light of God's love shines brightly in my heart and soul.  Jesus is the true light who has come into the world shining His light on me (John 1:9). 

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day who didn't know my mental health issues.  I've managed to hide it quite nicely, if I do say so myself  (basically by hermitizing).  At one point I finished my sentence with, "You know what I mean."  To my surprise she said, "No, I don't know what you mean."  We thanked God together that she had never experienced the deep well of bipolar, or any other, kind of depression.

I sometimes forget that not all people have bouts of depression.  For this I am thankful.  But for those of you who do know what I'm talking about you understand the beauty of color, the wonderful scent of honeysuckle, and the glorious sound of children laughing.

You understand the butterfly and its struggle to leave the darkness of the cocoon.  You understand the indescribable joy of emerging from the darkness into the light.  This is what I am experiencing now.  Thank you, Holy God, for the True light, the Light of Jesus that fills my soul and makes my heart sing.  Thank you God for reminding me over and over, "Remember in the dark what I have taught you in the light."

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

God Is My Hiding Place

For Christians with a mood disorder, prayer is the tool in our toolbox of coping skills that keeps us alive.  I am learning to pray, not my words, but God's word and that has made all the difference.  For instance:

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge.  I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.                                                         Psalm 57:1

These words from the Psalmist speaks to me in a very personal way.  Where can I run?  Where can I hide from the darkness of despair and depression?  I will run to God hiding in Him until the disaster of mood swings has passed.  When I pray to God His word, prayer becomes the very hiding place of God.  I wait knowing that in Him my soul takes refuge.


Everyone has a "thorn in the flesh" and bipolar disorder seems to be one of mine.  But I trust God.  He has sent me an understanding doctor who prescribes the medications I need.  God helps me to speak words of truth to my therapist digging deep to remove thorns of untruth showing me who I am and that I am loved by God just as I am.

And He is teaching me to pray His word planting seeds that will nurture and grow me despite ugly thorns in the flesh.  God is my hiding place and prayer is the vehicle that takes me right into His presence.

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

 

Accept the Gift

For to me, to live is Christ.   Philippians 1:21

To be Christian is to be filled with the Holy Spirit of God.  The living Christ, however strange it may sound, actually lives inside the Believer.  Circumstances, can and will at times, overwhelm we Christians threatening to rob us of the joy of simply being Christian. 

Today's devotional from Grace for each Moment says, "Accept the gift of Himself in your life and allow Him to live through you."  Whatever our circumstance we can stop, reflect on the goodness of God, accepting the gift of Jesus in our lives.  The key is acceptance.  Accept the gift.  Daily accept His gift.  Each moment accept His gift.  When we know Jesus nothing can separate us from His gift.  The gift is Jesus Himself.  Praise God!

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

Even Color is More Beautiful

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.         Romans 8:28

When I'm not depressed my world appears to be inundated with color.  Blues are bluer, greens are greener, white is dazzling, and red is striking, every color is more beautiful filling the earth with rainbow hues that I simply am not aware of when I fall under the darkness of depression.

But there is definitely something to be said for depression.  There are lessons to be learned from depression that can't be learned any other time.  I learn what my greatest fears are and from whence come my anxieties.  I learn to wait on the Lord knowing all good things come in His time not mine.  I learn to appreciate beauty.  This is not to say depression is enjoyable.  It most definitely is never that.  However, learning that God works ALL things for good for those of us who love Him in some strange way validates my depressed mood.

Knowing God works for my good helps me to realize the depression will lift.  The sun will come out.  Color will once again be spectacular and all my senses will be utilized in a way they are not when I'm depressed.  Learning to wait on God.  Perhaps that is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned while depressed.  The other lesson most valuable to me is understanding that faith is not a feeling.  Faith is knowing that God is who He says He is and that His promises are sure regardless of how I feel. 

God can take my faith when it is smaller than a grain of salt and give me hope that I can draw another breath.  God willing, I will live beyond this depression to see His goodness.  As the psalmist says, "Yet I am confident I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13).

To God be the Glory!  Amen. 

In Christ Despair Becomes Hope

Oftentimes those in the grip of depression fail to see any hope that can move them beyond their despair.  Yet hope is the one thing that buffers depression offering substance for an otherwise dismal outlook.  In Jesus of Nazareth by Pope Benedict XVI he describes the despair of Judas after his betrayal of Christ in this manner:  

Now he sees only himself and his darkness; he no longer sees the light of Jesus, which can illumine and overcome the darkness. He shows us the wrong type of remorse: the type that is unable to hope, that sees only its own darkness, the type that is destructive and in no way authentic. Genuine remorse is marked by the certainty of hope born of faith in the superior power of the light that was made flesh in Jesus.

Christians in the throes of depression are often remorseful for no apparent reason succumbing to  false guilt that truly brings destruction into their lives.  We must seek the light of Jesus never giving up hope knowing that faith in Him is our victory.  Faith is not a feeling.  Faith is hope in action.  Let faith, hope, and love defeat depression even as Christ defeated death.

To God Be the Glory!  Amen. 

When the Sun Comes Out

From A Collection of Joy by Helen Steiner Ricer

Patience

Most of the battles of life are won
By looking beyond the clouds to the sun
And having the patience to wait for the day
When the sun comes out and the clouds float away.

The darkness of depression is dispelled by the light of the Son, Jesus Christ.  Having the patience to wait for His healing touch can be a lesson learned for those who battle the darkness of depression.  To paraphrase Rice, we must look beyond the clouds of darkness, "to the Son."  He has promised to never leave nor forsake His own.  The clouds of depression may obscure His presence for a moment.  We must trust in Him, knowing, not feeling, that the day will come when the "Son will come out and the clouds float away."

To God be the Glory! Amen.

High and Lifted Up

When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross.  Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow...and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.                                                                  
                                                                         Ephesians 2:7-11 NIV

High and lifted up 
He took my sins away.
but not in exaltation
'twas grief that ruled the day.

Hanging from the cross
high and lifted up
humiliated, bruised, defeated
'twas evil that did erupt.

High and lifted up
He died on the cross that day
hope seemed lost forever
as low in the grave He lay.

Death could not keep Him
in the deep, darkness of the earth
in power He arose from the dead
promising believers spiritual birth.

High and lifted up
He will return here one fine day
Gathering His children to Him
'Tis joy will conquer that day!

 

Thoughts Regarding Hope

From No Man Is An Island by Thomas Merton

Nothing created is of any ultimate use without hope (16).

If He (God) is good, and if my intelligence is His gift, then, I must show my trust in His goodness by making use of my intelligence.  I must let faith elevate, heal, and transform the light of my mind (16).

Better than hoping for anything from the Lord, besides His love, let us place all our hope in His love itself (17).

All desires but one can fail.  The only desire that is infallibly fulfilled is the desire to be loved by God (17).