The Sixth Sense...The Sense of Humor

Sometimes things are funny just because they are funny.  Take falling for instance.  Now, I desperately try not to laugh when I see someone fall especially if they are hurt.  But just the sight is so hilarious with arms and legs going in all directions most of the time I can't help but snicker.

When I fall I usually end up laughing so hard I almost wet my pants.  Today, however, I did the "fallen and I can't get up" kind of thing.  Oh, I managed to get up---after the stars I saw faded and I rescued my flip flop to put back on my foot.  My wonderfully hard head broke my fall smacking first the sink, then the toilet, and finally the concrete floor in the tiny bathroom where I had fallen.

With my body sprawled in all directions I moaned and lay there trying to get my bearings.  I was lying on the floor in a tiny bathroom in a store in Sugar Valley.  Moaning, and moving, trying to determine if anything was broken, I was a bit taken aback when the store owner ( a tiny, little thing) stepped up to my line of vision and said, "I'm not gonna try to help you up."  "No,"  I responded, "just let me lay here for a minute and catch my breath."

A few minutes passed which seemed like hours and she came back.  "Do you want me to call the ambulance?" she asked.  Again I said, "No, honey I'll be fine," clearly lying through my rattled teeth.  I lay there for a moment more and thought, "What am I going to do?"

Then it came to me---a song I sing to my little grandson while I rock him to sleep called "Just a Little Talk With Jesus."  So I had a little talk with Jesus.  "Sweet Jesus," I prayed, "please help me get out of this floor!"  I have to say that's one of the quickest prayers I've had answered.  Within scarcely a minute I was off the floor finishing up my business and slowly getting the heck out of dodge.

Now when I think about it I just have to laugh.  Banged up a bit, bruised a bit, I still can only imagine the sight of me lying in that floor with that little lady saying, "I'm not gonna try to help you up."  She meant well and frankly I did not want to be moved at that time.

I say all that to say this.  Some things are just funny and most of the time falling is one of them.  Thank God for the sixth sense...a sense of humor!

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

The Butterfly

I feel like a butterfly who has emerged from its cocoon.  The darkness has abated and the light of God's love shines brightly in my heart and soul.  Jesus is the true light who has come into the world shining His light on me (John 1:9). 

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day who didn't know my mental health issues.  I've managed to hide it quite nicely, if I do say so myself  (basically by hermitizing).  At one point I finished my sentence with, "You know what I mean."  To my surprise she said, "No, I don't know what you mean."  We thanked God together that she had never experienced the deep well of bipolar, or any other, kind of depression.

I sometimes forget that not all people have bouts of depression.  For this I am thankful.  But for those of you who do know what I'm talking about you understand the beauty of color, the wonderful scent of honeysuckle, and the glorious sound of children laughing.

You understand the butterfly and its struggle to leave the darkness of the cocoon.  You understand the indescribable joy of emerging from the darkness into the light.  This is what I am experiencing now.  Thank you, Holy God, for the True light, the Light of Jesus that fills my soul and makes my heart sing.  Thank you God for reminding me over and over, "Remember in the dark what I have taught you in the light."

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

God Is My Hiding Place

For Christians with a mood disorder, prayer is the tool in our toolbox of coping skills that keeps us alive.  I am learning to pray, not my words, but God's word and that has made all the difference.  For instance:

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge.  I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.                                                         Psalm 57:1

These words from the Psalmist speaks to me in a very personal way.  Where can I run?  Where can I hide from the darkness of despair and depression?  I will run to God hiding in Him until the disaster of mood swings has passed.  When I pray to God His word, prayer becomes the very hiding place of God.  I wait knowing that in Him my soul takes refuge.


Everyone has a "thorn in the flesh" and bipolar disorder seems to be one of mine.  But I trust God.  He has sent me an understanding doctor who prescribes the medications I need.  God helps me to speak words of truth to my therapist digging deep to remove thorns of untruth showing me who I am and that I am loved by God just as I am.

And He is teaching me to pray His word planting seeds that will nurture and grow me despite ugly thorns in the flesh.  God is my hiding place and prayer is the vehicle that takes me right into His presence.

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

 

Accept the Gift

For to me, to live is Christ.   Philippians 1:21

To be Christian is to be filled with the Holy Spirit of God.  The living Christ, however strange it may sound, actually lives inside the Believer.  Circumstances, can and will at times, overwhelm we Christians threatening to rob us of the joy of simply being Christian. 

Today's devotional from Grace for each Moment says, "Accept the gift of Himself in your life and allow Him to live through you."  Whatever our circumstance we can stop, reflect on the goodness of God, accepting the gift of Jesus in our lives.  The key is acceptance.  Accept the gift.  Daily accept His gift.  Each moment accept His gift.  When we know Jesus nothing can separate us from His gift.  The gift is Jesus Himself.  Praise God!

To God be the Glory!  Amen.

Even Color is More Beautiful

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.         Romans 8:28

When I'm not depressed my world appears to be inundated with color.  Blues are bluer, greens are greener, white is dazzling, and red is striking, every color is more beautiful filling the earth with rainbow hues that I simply am not aware of when I fall under the darkness of depression.

But there is definitely something to be said for depression.  There are lessons to be learned from depression that can't be learned any other time.  I learn what my greatest fears are and from whence come my anxieties.  I learn to wait on the Lord knowing all good things come in His time not mine.  I learn to appreciate beauty.  This is not to say depression is enjoyable.  It most definitely is never that.  However, learning that God works ALL things for good for those of us who love Him in some strange way validates my depressed mood.

Knowing God works for my good helps me to realize the depression will lift.  The sun will come out.  Color will once again be spectacular and all my senses will be utilized in a way they are not when I'm depressed.  Learning to wait on God.  Perhaps that is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned while depressed.  The other lesson most valuable to me is understanding that faith is not a feeling.  Faith is knowing that God is who He says He is and that His promises are sure regardless of how I feel. 

God can take my faith when it is smaller than a grain of salt and give me hope that I can draw another breath.  God willing, I will live beyond this depression to see His goodness.  As the psalmist says, "Yet I am confident I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13).

To God be the Glory!  Amen. 

In Christ Despair Becomes Hope

Oftentimes those in the grip of depression fail to see any hope that can move them beyond their despair.  Yet hope is the one thing that buffers depression offering substance for an otherwise dismal outlook.  In Jesus of Nazareth by Pope Benedict XVI he describes the despair of Judas after his betrayal of Christ in this manner:  

Now he sees only himself and his darkness; he no longer sees the light of Jesus, which can illumine and overcome the darkness. He shows us the wrong type of remorse: the type that is unable to hope, that sees only its own darkness, the type that is destructive and in no way authentic. Genuine remorse is marked by the certainty of hope born of faith in the superior power of the light that was made flesh in Jesus.

Christians in the throes of depression are often remorseful for no apparent reason succumbing to  false guilt that truly brings destruction into their lives.  We must seek the light of Jesus never giving up hope knowing that faith in Him is our victory.  Faith is not a feeling.  Faith is hope in action.  Let faith, hope, and love defeat depression even as Christ defeated death.

To God Be the Glory!  Amen.